You may have spoken very nicely. Knows a lot about many things. And you hope people will listen to you and value your words. But that’s not really the case – and you don’t understand why people aren’t listening to you. Many people think that if they know a lot, they canBe A Successful Communicator That is not the case. The more knowledgeable you are, the more beautifully you speak – to be successful as a communicator you must first learn to listen to others.
You may be thinking, you can do it. But to be honest, listening to people in the right way is an art. And very few people can perform it efficiently. When you can master this art very well, people will listen to you. If you have the ability to listen to others in the right way, you will not need too much knowledge, you will not need to learn to speak very nicely.
Be A Successful Communicator
So let’s learn the art of listening to people properly
Let’s start with a story: Suppose you have been suffering from eye problems for quite some time. Can’t see as clearly as before. So without seeing the way you went to an eye doctor. The doctor somehow heard about your problem and opened his spectacles and said to you: “I have been using these spectacles for a long time, everything is very clear. You wear it too.”
But you didn’t see anything with those glasses. After telling that to the doctor, he still talked a lot about the quality of those glasses and started forcing you to take that. Will you still go to that doctor?
The story is certainly unreal. No good doctor will give you his glasses without a good test. He will try to understand your problem better without comparing it to his own.
Because the story is telling you, we always act like the doctor in that story. How? – When we talk to someone, we are busy giving our opinion and advice without understanding their problem or argument.
Again, we started arguing without understanding another person’s statement well. This is because, most of the time we think from our own side, not wanting to understand the mentality or logic of others. And because of this, people also move away from us. We often say that no one understands us – but most of the time we ourselves do not want to understand the feelings of the person in front of us.
When judging the words or actions of others, people often ask, “What did he say/do?”; There are very few people who think, “Why did he say that?” The funny thing is that the most famous detectives, doctors, even businessmen or managers in the world are people of this thought. They try to understand the person’s thoughts and feelings before judging someone’s behavior or words. And it is this quality that sets them apart from others. Makes ordinary to extraordinary.
When you go to explain something to someone else, you have to speak their language. Let me explain, suppose you are an expert in physics, now that will come to your words. But when you go to explain something to someone who knows nothing about physics – you have to talk to him in his language. If you speak in your own language, he will not understand you, and after a while, he will lose interest in listening to you. So first you have to listen to him and understand what kind of listener he is and the ways to talk that he understands.
When you listen to someone, don’t listen just to answer. Try to understand his words deeply. And let the person in front understand that you really understand his feelings and words. When you try to understand him by imagining yourself in someone else’s place, you will automatically have questions about his real condition. If you do not understand something, you will want to ask him to clarify the matter. This is what people really want. When others show interest and care about someone – then he starts liking the people he cares for. As Dale Carnegie wrote in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, you must listen 75% of the time when talking to someone, and only 25% of the time you have to tell.
The question that may arise in your mind is, why would you talk only 25%? – Because if you can get into the habit of talking 25%, you will Be A Successful Communicator because of this one habit. When others see that you are paying attention to 75% of them, they will pay attention to 25% of you. There is no point in talking 100% of the time if others do not take your words seriously.
Again, if you understand someone’s words well and do not get involved in arguments, then at some point he will accept your opinion. And even if you don’t agree, he will have a good idea of you. Remember never to attack anyone with words. Try to understand the meaning behind each other’s words, ask questions if necessary. When you really begin to understand others, others will begin to understand you. This understanding actually builds good relationships and communication between people.
Read the full book of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to learn more about how to build good communication with people.
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